have blog will write!

its interesting how i give sugestions and advice to many friends of mine..
boy am i good at it!

sometimes i wish i had a friend like myself.. but as has always beent he case my hopes have never come true.. and for some wierd reason my expectations always turn out to be true...yet i keep em low always...
anyway thats a different matter...

yesterday was givin a piece of my philosopphical shit to a pal of mine... \m/
n it fuckin wokred... n i was left wonderin why didn i say it to myself when i was down..kinda pretty much for the same reasons though much worse if you ask me...

guess pain has its own addiction... strangely it feels good to be hurt at times..

have been trying shrug off this negativity thats been surrounding me for some time now.. its been killing...
people seem totally different.. friends seem strangers..stranger still i have been opening up to strangers.. trying to find solace on unmet shoulders..

i have heard stories of how 'life' puts you in wierd situations.. always thought its so silly the way people handle it .. never thought i d find myself in scenarios more filmy than films... n i realise when things take you by surprise.. you end up doing things which you won't even imagine in your wildest dreams.. n then you wonder what was all that about.. n then you wonder still ..man how can i put that off my past...
never found an answer then.. when i porlly needed one the most.. and perhaps the one hand that could have pulled me out was the somehow the one who kinda pushed me into it.. nah.. guess i dug myself into it.. but yeahthe hand jus seemed to mock me rahter than give me a pull up...

and now.. whne this firend of mine said hes down.. that life s bad.. for a very silly reason actually...i was laughing at myself... n it old him to do that.. to just step back.. no step aside.. stand next to yourself.. and see what you make of the person who s standing next to you.. see what you feel for him...we both grinned at the guy.. gave a pat on his back ... thing settled...
wonder y i never did that...

lifes good... as biggie said..
damn right i like the life i live
coz i went from negative to positive

but then he also said fuck all you hoes.. but theek hai...

what i write here is not a state of my mind or wave of change in me or soemthing... its jus strip of the colourful time that i spend on earth... i still whine.. i still laugh.. if amir khan can sing jane kyu and tanhaiye within a span of a couple fo hours.. i see me to be no diffrerent...

for all the love i got..
and for the hurt i caused..
am in my wonderland.
blissfully lost ...